A few years ago, I met a fourth-year Take Care of Yourself law student (now a solicitor) who had several tattoos and a tiny nose ring but still looked cute and attractive. She was also an incorrect, sensitive romantic, which wouldn’t normally be a bad thing, but she had two problems … The first was that under her pleasant appearance there was a huge pool of expectations and personal problems YourLatinMates.com that began to leak out of her at the first meeting.

The second was that she was aware of them but didn’t do anything with them. Instead, she was counting on them to resolve themselves when she graduated, enlarged her tits, bought high heels from Christian Louboutin, and last but not least , when she met the right person.

I probably would not have remembered about her if it had not been for the fact that before Christmas she threw a status in which she wrote that she hoped that the next end of December would finally spend not only with the cat, but also with a man with strong arms and preferably sitting in front of the fireplace and drinking mulled wine.

A few years have passed and nothing seems to have changed with her. And to tell you the truth, this is not surprising to me, because she was sensitive and wanted to experience something real and inflate her chest with tenderness, but she acted like Cinderella sitting with her arms folded, because pop culture promised her that the prince would surely find her and change her fate. . She walked through her life without faith that anything depended on her. Instead, she had a pattern in her head: “If it becomes X, I’ll be happier, more attractive, smarter, etc.”

What she had not seen was that the pattern was a lie, and by behaving this way, she was confusing causes and effects . Exactly as the majority of society does.

Luck doesn’t exist

If I were to make a list of beliefs that I would leave behind for my children, grandchildren or a loved one, I would put a sentence on it that I would underline twice and surround with exclamation marks.

Remember that for something to change in your life, there must first be a change in you. Never the other way around.

It is not your interior that reflects the world, but the world that reflects your interior.

Yes, I know – it sounds kitschy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. In fact, this statement applies to some of the most important concepts in modern psychology – external and internal motivation.

Externally motivated people explain the world to themselves in YourLatinMates terms of rewards and possessions. Contrary to them, people with internal motivation explain it with the help of their skills.

The first person sees a happy someone in a fantastic relationship and thinks, “If I am with this guy (or – was with such a woman), I will be so happy too.” The other sees the same thing, but says: “If I am like her, I will have this relationship.” For the first one, each achievement is the result of something external – luck, genes, knowledge. For the other, skills are the source, because she knows that it’s impossible to be lucky forever, and even the best start can be wasted.

Intuitively, it seems that the truth lies somewhere in the middle, and maybe it really is. However, it does not change the fact that people with intrinsic motivation are happier, are more successful, are more open and cope better with stress. By contrast, externally motivated people find that a depressed, aimless single after entering into a relationship is the same depressed and aimless person just holding the other’s hand.

This is because what happens to you has, in most cases, a single cause. You.

The only sure job in my life – Take Care of Yourself

I understand that you may need love, warm tea with honey and twenty million dollars for happiness. However, I don’t think any of these things should be a goal in life.

Do you know why? Because there is only room for one point on this list: “Be a better person . ” Everything else is just tips: “You are going in the right direction”, “You better turn back” and “Attention! Following this path can lead to death! ”. For example, if you get what you want, you can congratulate yourself, but if someone gives you such a kick instead of a second date that you’re glad you Take Care of Yourself didn’t see the entire Milky Way, then you are going in a very bad direction, for example. and it’s your job to find the bug.

If you really want to spend the next Christmas with someone with whom you will feel that you are in the right place, then take care of yourself. People don’t get what they want, but what they are compatible with. It’s like a bank loan – no matter how much you want it, it only matters if you can afford it, and if you can’t afford it, this is the point you need to work on.

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Therefore , take care of yourself . Accept that you can only buy someone by your personality, not by making dumplings or having sex, because sex lasts 30 minutes and the rest of the day 1410.

Look for answers about yourself and not about others. Ask not what he means, but what you mean.

Find reasons to wake up and smile from bed without setting five naps.

Treat what happens to you not as tragedies and successes, but as praise or an encouragement to greater effort.

The world is full of guys waiting for a woman Take Care of Yourself. Who doesn’t restrict others, doesn’t demand to fit in with her vision of a relationship. But instead knows what she wants (and doesn’t want) and gives loyalty, honesty and acceptance.

I guarantee you that if you take care of yourself, love will come by itself. The right guy will show up and you won’t have to stare at him with eyes as big as Bambi’s.